...but how can I forget? When you gave me so much to remember and those memories were the only things that didn’t change, when everything else did. I guess it’s true that there are things in life that you can't hold on to forever, no matter how much you fight for it. Sometimes destiny isn’t always good, it becomes playful. When you met someone you learned to love, you thought that it was destiny who made your paths crossed. But what if making your paths cross is just a part of the game that the playful destiny create? Making you realize in the end that the person you thought that was destined for you wasn't really meant to stay…but only destined to make you feel loved and then eventually leave you when you’ve already fallen, and no matter how much you wanted to hate that person, you still can't.

    It's harder to stop when I know that it was everything that I’ve always wanted. Maybe I’d still wish that there would be someone who would tell me that it isn’t too late yet… but I guess there wasn’t. But you know what? I'm still glad. I'm glad that HE happened to my life... because if it wasn't for him, I would have never known how it feels to love someone and somehow, be loved in return. He made me realize that it's better to have a heart that's broken but real, rather than a heart that's whole but numb... and I can't thank him enough for that.

Tonight seems so cold 

and the sky is so velvet,

that it overshadowed the stars.

The wind hums its dreary melody

as it whispers upon the ears of her soul,

who found herself gazing at the moon,

bemused by the unfathomed longing 

for her one great love.

Maelstrom strikes and hardly tries

to lead her into giving up...

but this piece of metal she wears around her finger

reminds her of you and told her heart to forbear

for tonight the crescent promises a new day

and soon she might see you again.

Can you hear her soul singing?

Now the clock strikes two in the morning.

She can hardly sleep and she's stranded into thinking.

Heaven knows it's only you whom she's missing..
But as she looks back to where you've started,
sometimes she cant help but to think that she's retarded,
doubting its better to go back to the way you were before,
to when the only thing that both of you do is to ignore.

Foolish of her to think

that those couple of days seemed like a thousand years

and a week to be like eternity.

but starting tonight...

giving up would be the last thing that she would do...

For she's  keeping the words you've said.

Not as a promise for they ought to be broken, they said,

rather but the sweetest words that she's ever heard.

Words that would last and will never fade.

Tonight at last her mind's at ease.

For in evanescence, she has sent her worries.

She need not to talk to let you know how much she misses you

because she's sent it through the wind for you to feel,

and if later will you fall asleep,

in dreams you'll find serenity.

For though she has not profess her love,
and if she might never will...
at least this time you will know..
that she writes for you...

and only for you, her sweetest sorrow.

     I promised, but I halfway failed. Staying away from cellphones and computers every Lenten season is a bit hard but is a worthy sacrifice, at least for me and my bestfriend I guess. We've been doing this for a long time now and believe me, it wasn't always that easy. Maybe the part where my phone crashed earlier this March, and is totally useless now, had its own benefit. But the fact that my computer wouldn't stop calling for me is totally not being helpful in completely achieving our so called "pledge", and since I couldn't think of anything sane else to do, before I die out of boredom, I have admitted my defeat.

    It has been quite awhile. I haven't got the chance to write anything in here for some time now and I noticed that this would be my first post since the year began. Maybe because it has been a little busy at school, especially during the last week of the 3rd term. nahhh, did i say a little? i meant A LOT.  We had projects to cram, deadlines to meet and  exams to study for. But fortunately we survived "Hell Week" (that's what most of us call it) and here we are, finally ending the school year as freshmen.

    Time really flies. I remember, not so long ago, I entered college not having any clue to what's in store for me and I bet it was the same as for everyone else. You'd feel excited, but somehow sad because summer break is over, and there would always be that part of you that would feel very nervous, probably because of the new environment and such; but for some, it was because of making new friends.

    Remember in kindergarten where it would be your first day in class and you would meet someone new and then about fifteen minutes later you would play like you have known each other for a long time? It surely wasn't easy like that in college but I'm glad that I was able to find some nice friends and having the chance to spend my freshman year with them is something that I would never regret because I was moved by these people, in so many ways that I could ever think of...

    One was Michie, the girl that I had a crush on once. *grins haha...just kidding*. Who wouldn't fall for that deep slice within her right cheek anyway?  She may act roughly like a boy on the outside but still, you'd find a very loving and sensitive lady on the inside. From her I had seen how much a person could really love someone even though they are already in so much pain and still, in the end,  they'll have no regrets that they have loved; and that side of her was something I really appreciated.

   

    Another was my co dark-chocolate-lover Berlin, as unseemingly  kind  as he is, can make someone feel special and taken care of. I was astounded that we had the same interests like musical instruments and table tennis, though I know that he would always be a lot better on those things than I am.

    How can I forget the innocence of Foncy which really amuses me. I had always find his act so pure it drowns me. I'll never forget the instances where we'd laugh because of his too-naive ways. But somehow I wish I could be more like him, in a way that I wouldn't be afraid of expressing what I truly feel inside, that I'd learn to care less on how people judge me. 

       I'll always remember the "weird-looking fingers" of Carl who I thought is just a serious type of bishonen but it turned out to be that he is just as bizarre as we all are. He may look snobbish as a total stranger but within that image, is a child. I find him so juvenile at times that I cant help but laugh, especially at his reactions about random things. 

    I'd never fail to keep in mind Panchuu's great advice which was: "Hindi mo kailangan i-sacrifice ang isang subject para lang sa iba mo pang subject". He had been my muse in balancing one's responsibilities and I wish that I could do it just like how he does it. Eventhough he seems to be always serious and composed, he can still be witty at times that he'd even let me call him "anak" just for merriment.

    I can't help but marvel at Louie who has ,and will always,  inspire me through his poetic way with words,  whose posts I'll never get tired of reading, who would never fail to say "Hi!" with a smiling face whenever you pass by him, and who has surprised me with his great appetite.But for him being half the reason why I started blogging, is another story.

    I'd always live through the nights where Isaiah admired the full moon with me (through chats), the times where he'd act like a coffee and brightens the mood up, whenever he'd allow me to make wrong guesses of his incredibly long and confusing full name and those funny moments where he would let me tease him and simply let me get away with it.

    I'll surely miss picking on John Carlo who's been a big pain in the *ss ( in a good way :D ) during IT class , who decorated my terminal with his garland-like hair, who'd let me enjoy seeing his "disturbed / confused face" throughout our just-for-fun fights and who'd share to me his great taste and talent in music.

    I'd look everywhere for Mon's loli shota face that is just too kawaii. I was amazed when I found out that behind his childish facade masks a man of many talents. He had taught me so many things that I never knew he'd know. His knack of techno-stuff and such is simply amazing.

    I will always treasure the wonderful drawings that Mela, who had been really forgiving whenever I used to misspell her name as "Mella", gave me. Everything about her is stunning. The way she'd say "awww" when she sees cute little kittens, walk in cute little steps and draw with the tiniest hands, bows her head down because she's just too shy, stays humble beside the fact that she has this brilliant talent in arts, and so much more.

     I'm really blessed to have someone who fondly listens like Emmer, even though he would sometimes team-up with Matt and then make fun of me.*bleh :P * He is the only one who had been really patient in trying to make me happy whenever I get really pissed off, the complete opposite of me, the used-to-be violet hater, the reason why half the time I don't even know that I'm smiling, the one who can be just as sweet as a gummybear , the person whom I've spent a lot of my insane, yet really fun, first-times with and the truth is that if I was ever given the chance to choose anyone else that I could spend those times with, It would still be him and no one else. and of course;

    I'll never miss out  MJ 's laughter that echoes through the hallways, the way he walks peculiarly, the strange / funny sounds that he makes, the corny jokes that somehow manage to make us all laugh, how the atmosphere could be so light whenever he's around, the way he reacts whenever Berlin teases him and his smile that could never ever fade away. I may be wrong in some of the things that I have written here and it may all seem very subjective but hey, these is how I see them and I know that

   Every moment with them is indeed worthwhile.

Have a Wonderful Christmas!!!

This matthew was different.

"promise me that you'll never forget."